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There’s a popular idea floating around right now—especially on social media—that if a husband really loves you, he shouldn’t need you to ask for anything. He should just know.
It sounds romantic. It feels intuitive. And it’s quietly making a lot of marriages miserable.
In this video, I react to a short Instagram clip that captures this belief perfectly, and then I break down why expecting mind-reading in marriage isn’t a sign of love or emotional intelligence, and it’s a fast track to resentment.
What We Talk About in the Video
- Why “he should just know” feels right emotionally—but fails logically
- How unspoken expectations turn into resentment
- The difference between paying attention and mind-reading
- Why many marital frustrations are about preferences, not moral failures
- How rational expectations create calmer, more cooperative marriages
This is not a video about abusive relationships.
And it’s not about bashing men.
It’s a conversation for married women—especially midlife women—who want less frustration and more peace in their marriages.
Final Thought
Marriage isn’t a silent test. And love isn’t proven by guessing correctly.
If you want a marriage that feels steady instead of resentful, this conversation matters.
Alison Moore Smith is a 60-year-old entrepreneur. She has been (very happily) married to Samuel M. Smith for 39 years. They are parents of six incredible children and grandparents to two astounding grandsons.
She is the author of The 7 Success Habits of Homeschoolers.
Join her on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, X, and (barely) TikTok.